Curiosity vs. Assumptions: The Secret to Stronger Relationships

 

When we first meet someone, there’s an undeniable spark of curiosity. Every conversation feels like an opportunity to learn more about the other person. We ask questions to understand their world better - questions that are thoughtful, open-ended, and empathetic. But as time passes in a relationship, it’s easy to let that curiosity fade. Over time, we may find ourselves making assumptions rather than asking questions. This shift can unintentionally create distance between partners.

The First Date vs. The Long-Term Relationship

Remember the early days of your relationship? The excitement, the butterflies, the genuine desire to understand each other’s thoughts and feelings. On your first date, you weren’t focused on winning an argument or proving a point. Instead, you listened intently, eager to know more about your partner’s experiences, dreams, and preferences.

You probably asked questions like:
  • Tell me more about that.
  • What was that like for you?
  • Help me understand.
These were questions rooted in curiosity - an openness to learn more, without the pressure of forming judgments or conclusions right away. Curiosity like this builds connection and trust. But as relationships develop, many of us trade that curiosity for certainty.

The Shift from Curiosity to Assumptions

As time goes on, it’s common for couples to start assuming they already know everything about each other. Instead of asking insightful questions, we rely on what we think we know and react based on those assumptions. This shift can sometimes lead to misunderstandings, frustrations, and even conflict. We stop asking, and start assuming.

For example, instead of asking, “What was that like for you?” we might think, “I already know how they feel about this”. Instead of asking, “Tell me more about that”, we might say, “I’ve heard this before”. While this shift may seem harmless at first, it can create an emotional gap that grows over time.

Curiosity: The Antidote to Contempt

Assumptions can breed disconnection, and over time, that disconnection can turn into contempt. When we stop being curious, we might start viewing our partner’s actions or words in a negative light. This contempt can erode the foundation of the relationship.

Curiosity, on the other hand, is the antidote to contempt. It softens defenses and opens the door to deeper understanding. When we approach our partner with genuine curiosity, we shift our mindset from "You never get me" to "I want to understand you better". This change in perspective can transform arguments into meaningful conversations.

A Challenge: Embrace Curiosity Again

Here’s a gentle challenge to help bring curiosity back into your relationship: ask one question from a place of genuine curiosity, rather than making an assumption. Instead of assuming how your partner feels or what they want, try asking questions like:
  • What’s been on your mind lately?
  • Can you tell me more about how you’re feeling?
  • What’s something I might not understand about this situation?
Pay attention to how your partner responds. You might be surprised at how these simple, thoughtful questions open up new avenues of communication.

Curious Communication: The Key to Thriving Relationships

Relationships don’t thrive on perfect communication. No one is going to always say the right thing, and we can’t expect flawless interactions all the time. But relationships do grow through curious communication. When we ask questions, listen intently, and seek to understand rather than assume, we create an environment where both partners feel valued and heard.

So, the next time you feel the urge to assume, take a step back and ask a question instead. By fostering curiosity, you’ll find that your connection with your partner can deepen in ways you never expected. After all, love isn’t just about knowing - it’s about understanding.

C. P. Kumar
Energy Healer & Blogger

Amazon Books by C. P. Kumar: https://amazon.com/author/cpkumar/
YouTube Channel of C. P. Kumar: https://www.youtube.com/@cpkumar2022
Spiritual and Social Books by C. P. Kumar: http://cpkumar.lovestoblog.com/bookmarks.html


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Image
The Changing Face of Modern Womanhood: A Critical Reflection Throughout the history of India, women have been celebrated in various forms. From revered figures in mythology and literature to the valiant queens and activists, women have played key roles in shaping society. In ancient times, women like Apala and Anusuya from the Vedic period, or Sita and Savitri from the mythological era, embodied virtues of strength, sacrifice, and devotion. In later periods, figures such as Rani Padmavati and Rani Durgavati stood as symbols of courage and resilience. Moving to modern times, we also recognize women like Sarojini Naidu and Mother Teresa for their contributions to social change. These examples across different eras have made one thing clear: women have always been expected to embody values such as compassion, forgiveness, and dignity. However, in recent times, an unsettling shift seems to be taking place, especially when looking at some of the actions of women in contemporary society. The...
Read more
Image
The Silent Sacrifices: Why We Hide Our Inconveniences to Preserve Relationships Introduction In our lives, relationships occupy a central place — whether personal, familial, social, official, or friendly. Yet, one quiet but profound reality threads through all of them: many times, we suppress our discomfort, inconvenience, or hurt, just to maintain the bond. We smile through annoyance, agree through inner resistance, and carry burdens that were never ours to hold, simply because we do not want to risk disrupting the delicate fabric of these connections. While this tendency often stems from noble intentions — like love, respect, or duty — over time, it can quietly corrode our well-being and even the very relationships we aim to protect. Why Do We Choose Silence Over Expression? Several factors shape this behavior. One major reason is the fear of conflict. We worry that raising an issue will lead to arguments, misunderstanding, or even an irreparable rift. Many of us are taught from a yo...
Read more
Image
Embrace the Summer with Responsibility: Tips for a Sustainable and Healthy Season As the summer season arrives, it brings with it warmth, sunshine, and the need for greater awareness in our daily lives. During this time, we must make a conscious effort to stay hydrated, protect the environment, and contribute to the greater good. Here are a few important tips to ensure we make the most of this season in a responsible and healthy way. 1. Stay Hydrated with Healthy Drinks In the scorching summer heat, hydration is key. Ensure that you drink plenty of liquids to keep your body cool and hydrated. Opt for refreshing drinks like sugarcane juice, lemonade, lassi, sattu drink, and fresh fruit juices. It is essential to avoid sugary carbonated drinks (soft drinks), as they are not as healthy and can lead to dehydration in the long run. 2. Beware of Spoiled Foods The summer heat accelerates the spoilage of food. It’s best to avoid street food and especially fast food, which is often loaded with ...
Read more